But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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