handjob tips. give me some.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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