I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
