Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize