I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
