we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
