Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
