Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
