cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
