How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Pooping to opera.
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