I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Damn victory sex feels great
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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