i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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