I'm going to jail i love you
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Houston, we have a blender
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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