New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
