Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
