Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize