Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
