have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
