oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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