just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
