oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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