I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
