Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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