Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
