Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
