Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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