So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize