Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
