I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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