I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
