I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize