So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize