While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
