oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I want to make a zoo with you.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
