Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
