Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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