I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
