She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize