People in love make me want to vomit
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
