matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
