i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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