Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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