Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
