And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize