Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize