so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
