How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
