There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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