listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Randomize
