I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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