I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
