I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
