I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
