margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize