just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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