please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Where is the hickey?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
