Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
