Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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