This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
