It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
