I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
