i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Your penis caused this!
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