i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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