You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize