pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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