meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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