my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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