you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
