Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
